A Muslim parent will certainly aim to raise his children by giving them the access to all the resources available to them, and this would mean the best secular education and the best luxuries money can buy. It is an undeniable fact that we are transfixed upon the status of our children and families.
As modern Muslims, our yardstick of ‘success’ is defined by our children entering the professions such as medicine and law, rather than displaying the zeal to please Allah as the righteous sahabah before us so magnificently displayed. The majority of Muslim parents aspire for their children to grow and become ‘positive contributors’ to whichever society they belong to- be it Islamic or un-Islamic. A challenge which faces our families is that the majority of the population in the cities and towns we reside in are not Islamic, whether we live in United Kingdom or in a village in Bangladesh. The reason these societies are not Islamic is that those in positions in power, rule according to their Hawwah (desires) and pressure from dominant nations. As a result, the people under this type of leadership are encouraged by their Shaytaan governments to conform to their way of life.
With these obstacles in our path, how are we, as sincere believing Muslims going to raise the next generation of our Ummah to have the courage of Khalid bin al Waleed, the wisdom of Abu Bakr AsSaddiq and the determination of Umar ibn Al Khattab?
Our Duty as parents
The issue of raising children and its importance according to Islamic criteria is acknowledged by the Muslims, however the actual implementation of this knowledge is rarely applied with as much enthusiasm as other areas of Islam.
Allah (swt) states:
“O you who believe! Save yourselves and your families from a fire whose fuel is men and stones…” (Surah Al Tahrim 66:6)
Abu’ul Layth as- Samarqandi (ra) in his book, Tambih al- Ghafilin, relates that a man brought his son to Umar (ra) during his Khilafah and said; “My son does not obey me, he is very disobedient to me.”
Hearing this, Umar (ra) said “Boy don’t you know what rights a father has over his son?”, thereafter he narrated the rights of the father that are duties upon his children.
The boy after listening asked, “Commander of the faithful, do children also have rights over their father?”
Umar (ra) said, “Yes! The children too have rights over their father.”
“What are those rights?” asked the boy.
Umar (ra) replied, “First of all he should search for a good mother for his son. He should marry a virtuous, religious woman, and not any woman of questionable nature and doubtful character.
The second right is to name a child with a good name.
The third right of the child is that he should impart religious knowledge to him and teach him the Qur’an.”
The boy replied, “Commander of the faithful, my father has not discharged any of these duties. Firstly, the woman who is my mother is a slave woman that he had bought for 400 dirhams. She is a woman who is ignorant of religious education, Islamic social manners and morals. It is in her lap that I have passed my infancy. She has not given me any religious education. Who then could I learn from?
Secondly they have not named me with a good name. he has named me Ju’al (meaning an ugly man). I should have been given a good name which was my right, but my father did not discharge his responsibility towards me.
The third is the right of religious education, which they did not give me at all. Now whatever decision you give me I will accept it.”
At this Umar (ra) said to the boy’s father; “You first of all, have been neglectful regarding the boys rights which you did not discharge and now you tell me that your son does not obey you. Get out! It is you who has been disobedient and oppressive.”
Our children have the right to be brought up in an environment that is conducive to Islam. Children have the right to be nurtured on the Deen of Allah, with the Kalimah of ‘la ilaha ilAllah, Muhamad ur Rasulullah’ heard and practised in the home. Children should also have the protection of their parents and family against un-Islamic ideologies and practices. Sadly the Shaytaan has worked hard to introduce un-Islamic ideologies into the Muslim Ummah and the outcome has been that many who claim to have Eeman and Islam have negated their Shahadah because of innovated and heretical beliefs. The home is a place where the Shaytaan will work eagerly as it knows that the next generation of Muslims are being cultivated there. We must never forget that Shaytaan does not want the harvest to produce successfully. The Shaytaan wants to take as many people to the Hellfire with him as possible and he wants the harvest to produce sickness and failure.
The Prophet (saw) said:
“All of you are shepherds, and each one is responsible for his flock. A leader of people is a shepherd and responsible for them. A man is like a shepherd over his family, and he is responsible for his flock. A woman is like a shepherd over her husband’s house and children, and she is responsible for them. And a slave is a guardian of his master’s property and is responsible for it. So all of you are guardians and are responsible for your charges.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
As Islam is a perfect Deen (way of life) that explains in detail the roles that we as mankind uphold, it too recognises the importance of the Islamic home, and this is why the Prophet (saw) proclaimed that marriage completes half of ones Deen. It is this detail and perfection that explains to women the delicate but crucial role that Muslim women possess. The lap serves as a bed for the child, the bosom offers comfort, our presence provides security, and our love indicates protection.
The mother acts as a world for the child, and it is this world that is the first influence upon the child, and it is this world which serves as a foundation upon which will build the Islamic personality insha’Allah.
As the aforementioned incident expresses, the father plays a vital role in the upbringing of the child, but due to necessary burdens which the Sharia has placed upon the shoulders of the man, it is primarily the mother who remains the Islamic source for the child.
It is extremely easy to become impatient with ones children and say harsh words, however we must remember that our children remain an amanah (a trust) and Allah (swt) will account us towards this trust. Words lashed out in moments of fury can have a deep impact and these words may cause scars to form- scars that may remain till adulthood.
Every Muslim parent is advised to raise their children well and properly. We must encourage our children to be of strong character in regards to the Shariah and not be afraid of their Deen. Islam offers the only positive way of life for the entire human population.
Other requirements for raising children include a happy home, comfort, care and love, providing the necessities of life and a good education are some of the responsibilities that parents are required to fulfil.
Prophet Muhammad (saw) said: “Whoever is not kind to young people is not one of us and the best teaching that a parent can give a child is the teaching of good manners and character”.
The Muslim child absorbs the Islamic values from their parents, teachers, peers, friends and the environment, including their caregivers. Be watchful over your children and know that the Shaytaan is always present, especially when they are approaching the teenage years. Once the Muslim child develops undesirable habits and unethical values, it becomes extremely difficult to mould the child into a good Muslim. We, as parents should aim to emulate our predecessors such as Aisha bint Abi bakr, Umm Salamah, Abu bakr and Uthman and inshaAllah our children will follow these eminent people from our example. Brothers and sisters in Islam, strive to raise your children by giving them the knowledge of Akhirah as they will hold the flag of ‘la ilaha ilAllah, Mahamad ur Rasoolullah’ after our demise and aim to raise your children among those who fight to establish the laws of Allah upon the land.
‘As for those who strive hard in Our Cause, We shall surely guide them to our Paths. And verily Allah is with Al Muhsinun (doers of good).’ (Surah al Ankaboot 29:69)
article written by Umm Rasheed
Source : Revolution Muslim